Topic: COMMONEST CAUSES OF PREMATURE EJACULATION
"How to stop Premature Ejaculation?" or
"How to stay erect or last longer (in bed)?" is one of the commonest problems men have. Why premature ejaculation is common is dealt in detail here.
The picture of Hollywood screen heroes is shown to emphasize the difference between what seems so real on screen and reality. Normal people, even these reel heroes themselves, cannot do the stunning stunt sequences and fights shown with the help of special effects on the screen. We know that what is shown on screen is false yet we pay to see their movies for entertainment.
SIMILARLY know that what is shown in porn movies is FALSE and far away from FACT. You may watch for entertainment. Period. Unfortunately people do not know CORRECT FACTS of SEX of normal people, hence get powerfully conditioned by the FALSE.
Ejaculation is mis spelled as
ejackulation
ejactulation
ejaculated
ejaculating
ejakulation
ejeculation
Premature ejaculation is a term that I would like to replace with the term Early Orgasmic Response, which Prof. Prakash Kothari is fervently communicating to medical fraternity.
THREE IMPORTANT causes of mistaken belief that one is suffering from premature ejaculation are:
[1] Comparison with what is shown in the porn movies,
[2] Comparison with friends who lie about exaggerated sexual feats that they do and [3] Few instances when one ejaculates just after insertion or during foreplay. This happens usually during the early experiences of sex due to high sexual excitement and novelty. This saps his confidence. He attaches the label of premature ejaculation.
Fuel is added to fire by advertisements that mislead about premature ejaculation and the tantalizing results achieved after buying and using their products.
A PERSON WHO IS ACTUALLY NORMAL comes to believe that he has Premature Ejaculation, hence he thinks he is sexually inadequate at satisfying a woman.
This leads to great amount of fear of infidelity by his spouse. This revealed to the Sex Therapist, but is unspoken for the rest of the world. "If I cannot satisfy her, she would be attracted to someone else," is the scary thought that haunts the male of the species.
For a woman such a thought is preposterous. Let me assure the female of the species that THERE IS NO EXAGGERATION IN WHAT I AM REPORTING.
This chapter is not about female ejaculation, which is a separate, myth ridden topic.
We are not discussing ed, aphrodisiac, merely delay cream or delay spray, but here you will find IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT THE COMMONEST CAUSES of Premature Ejaculation in male/men.
WHAT MEN CRAVE TO KNOW IS
How to stop Premature Ejaculation or how to stay erect, stay hard or last longer (in bed).
You now know why even NORMAL MEN have misconception (strongly imprinted) that they have PREMATURE EJACULATION.
What is the normal time from the insertion in vagina to ejacultion?
This
has been dealt in detail earlier. [CLICK HERE]
60 seconds to 180 seconds meaning
1 minute to 3 minutes is the normal time from the insertion of penis in vagina to the time of discharge.
NORMAL TIME
60 seconds to 180 seconds meaning
1 minute to 3 minutes is the normal time
from the insertion of penis in vagina to the time of discharge.
Summarizing
3 COMMON MISTAKES MEN MAKE
THAT MAKE THEM (WRONGLY) BELIEVE THEY HAVE PREMATURE EJACULATION
Why NORMAL MALE assumes that he has Premature Ejaculation?
1. The fact of what time is normal is not known. All information is behind the bedroom door.
2. Misinformation is in pornography or with friends/peers.
Prolonged duration of erection like half an hour is seen in blue films (porn movies), which is not real. Just as the movie hero Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Harrison Ford, Will Smith, Bruce Willis, Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, John Travolta, Brad Pitt or the Indian superstars Amitabh Bachchan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan jumping from the height of tenth floor and knocking out single handedly ten armed men is unreal (though appears very real on the screen) so too the parameters of length, stiffness, duration related to penis and performance are all unreal in porn movies. Thanks to special effects. With no access to know 'what is real' and having watched 'unreal' blue films from an impressionable age, it is etched or imprinted in an impressionable mind that Premature Ejaculation is anything that is less than 15 or 30 minutes. He assumes that such a premature ejaculation is definitely not going to satisfy the female partner. This will make him appear inadequate, embarrassed and his manliness [Macho image] will be greatly hurt. He does not know that this measuring stick (example: prolonged duration of sexual intercourse) of being MACHO is NO MACHO for a woman. He is hardly aware that things other than male's pride about penis matters for a female and gives the sense of being MACHO for a woman.
3. The strong (mistaken) belief that he has premature ejaculation has its root in having had one or two experiences of sexual intercourse where high levels of excitement and novelty caused early discharge. Not knowing this the boy is crest fallen (often for life). If the female partner happens to remark casually that it was too quick than the blow can be almost irreparable. He stamps himself as a proven case of premature ejaculation.
AGE:
Premature Ejaculation presents commonly after 5 to 10 years of marriage.
Premature ejaculation [PE] is not so much of a teen problem, though age is no bar.
GENDER:
Is it a male problem or a problem for the female?
WHY?
A
Up to [approximately] 5 years of marriage or before 30 years of age usually a male does second successive sex that lasts longer than the first quickie.
Romance is richer and hence this aspect is of lesser or no importance soon after marriage.
B
As years pass after marriage the sexual urges have become largely satiated and novelty gone.
C
[About] 5 years after marriage, the mind is occupied more with handling responsibilities than with sex unlike in early youth when sex occupies a larger portion of the mind.
In my Sex Therapy sessions as a part of treatment I ask for answers to a set of questions.
SEVEN IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
1. Expectation
2. How many times he had premature ejaculation and how many times sex was normal?
Example: 7 out of 10 times he has premature ejaculation
3. What did the female partner actually say?
4. What did the doctor say? [If he has been to other doctors]
5. What medicines he has tried and how much have they benefited?
6. Presence of Diabetes/High Blood Pressure/Heart Disease/Depression or family history of any of these. COMORBID CONDTIONS.
7. What medicines he is taking? SIDE EFFECT OF DRUGS, DRUG INTERACTIONS
The answers to my questions could be
1.10 to 20 minutes delay is desired
2. For him the ejaculation just after insertion could be 2 to 3 strokes or thrusts in
2 out of 10 times and in 8 out of 10 times about a minute or two, sometimes more.
3. Female partner satisfaction:
"It is fine", says my wife when I ask her, but I suspect she does not tell the truth.
Similarly I seek answers to questions
4. 5. 6. 7.
OVERVIEW
FIRST The normal time is 60 seconds to 180 seconds and the time could be lesser or more in the same individual on different occasions.
SECOND I take this opportunity to do thorough clinical examination to rule out diabetes, hypertension, depression, alcohol/ tobacco addiction, other organic diseases.
TREATMENT IN BRIEF
To sum up: Nonmedical methods
A
1] Treatment is begun with Samadhan Sex Joy Therapy.
2] Advised to increase frequency
3] Do second successive sexual intercourse
4] Use Condom
5] Samadhan massage (modified Seman's) technique to delay ejaculation is taught.
6] Anything else that the person believes helps delaying ejaculation, such as exercise, drinking milk, taking a bath.
7] As a part of treatment permission for use of Sexually Stimulating Material is given.
8] Teaching wife/female partner methods for satisfying herself sexually, without totally relying on peno vaginal sex.
9] Masturbation by male prior to sexual intercourse
10] Teaching the male methods to make her come without peno vaginal intercourse.
11] Perineal muscle exercises can be beneficial for men with premature ejaculation.
B
Non genital method of female sexual satisfaction.
Psychodynamic Therapeutic Counseling to correct cognitive distortions about female sexual satisfaction.
Male perception of what satisfies woman and what in fact satisfies a woman, the secret keys, which bring arousal and enhance female satisfaction is explained to the male. In couple counseling having her version of what satisfies and irritates sexually is presented to him. Men are blind to this.
Look up 'P-Cock Syndrome' by the author Ashok Koparday.
In the 'Human Sexual Response' blog by the author Ashok Koparday, see the allegorical
depiction in animated image of what the peacock (male/men) thinks impresses the peahen (female/women)when in fact it does not.
IMPORTANT
Female sexual satisfaction has to be dealt in detail as part of treatment of premature ejaculation
WHAT TREATMENT IS NOT RECOMMENDED?
Non medical:
The phrase "DON'T WORRY" is never used by me.
Medical:
What I do not prescribe as treatment for Premature Ejaculation?
(a) Sildenafil PGE-5 inhibitors, like Viagra©,
(b) Gels, sprays, condoms containing anesthetics,
(c) Testosterone or anabolic steroids
MEDICAL METHODS OF TREATMENT OF PREMATURE EJACULATION
Modern Medicine or Allopathy
Choosing appropriate SSRIs, or TCA medicines.
Homeopathy:
Medicines to be taken Acid Phos Q 10 drops in a cup of water TWO times a day, after meals Damiana Q 10 drop in 5ml water one dose four times a day Silicea 3X 4tablets every two hours (Buy a phial of each medicine of the company
(The above homeopathic treatment may not be applicable to everybody. A detailed case history by Homeopath is required if you choose to take Homeopathy. Same holds true for Ayurved)
THE ROLE OF FEMALE PARTNER IN MANAGEMENT OF PREMATURE EJACULATION
If the female takes the responsibility of getting her enjoyment than she would be active in sexual play and not rely totally on the man to give her joy. She has to know what gives her orgasm or satisfaction. She should be familiar with her own Masturbation.
THE ROLE OF FEMALE PARTNER IN PREVENTING PREMATURE EJACULATION
It is strongly and severely advised for preventive and curative purpose that girl/female/woman should not say anything or indicate even in jest that may make him feel inadequate. Such a remark is a sure way to hurt your man. These apparently trivial words are severe, almost akin to killing the man.
early discharge
"How to stop Premature Ejaculation?" or
"How to stay erect or last longer (in bed)?" is one of the commonest problems men have. Why premature ejaculation is common is dealt in detail here.
The picture of Hollywood screen heroes is shown to emphasize the difference between what seems so real on screen and reality. Normal people, even these reel heroes themselves, cannot do the stunning stunt sequences and fights shown with the help of special effects on the screen. We know that what is shown on screen is false yet we pay to see their movies for entertainment.
SIMILARLY know that what is shown in porn movies is FALSE and far away from FACT. You may watch for entertainment. Period. Unfortunately people do not know CORRECT FACTS of SEX of normal people, hence get powerfully conditioned by the FALSE.
Ejaculation is mis spelled as
ejackulation
ejactulation
ejaculated
ejaculating
ejakulation
ejeculation
Premature ejaculation is a term that I would like to replace with the term Early Orgasmic Response, which Prof. Prakash Kothari is fervently communicating to medical fraternity.
THREE IMPORTANT causes of mistaken belief that one is suffering from premature ejaculation are:
[1] Comparison with what is shown in the porn movies,
[2] Comparison with friends who lie about exaggerated sexual feats that they do and [3] Few instances when one ejaculates just after insertion or during foreplay. This happens usually during the early experiences of sex due to high sexual excitement and novelty. This saps his confidence. He attaches the label of premature ejaculation.
Fuel is added to fire by advertisements that mislead about premature ejaculation and the tantalizing results achieved after buying and using their products.
A PERSON WHO IS ACTUALLY NORMAL comes to believe that he has Premature Ejaculation, hence he thinks he is sexually inadequate at satisfying a woman.
This leads to great amount of fear of infidelity by his spouse. This revealed to the Sex Therapist, but is unspoken for the rest of the world. "If I cannot satisfy her, she would be attracted to someone else," is the scary thought that haunts the male of the species.
For a woman such a thought is preposterous. Let me assure the female of the species that THERE IS NO EXAGGERATION IN WHAT I AM REPORTING.
This chapter is not about female ejaculation, which is a separate, myth ridden topic.
We are not discussing ed, aphrodisiac, merely delay cream or delay spray, but here you will find IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT THE COMMONEST CAUSES of Premature Ejaculation in male/men.
WHAT MEN CRAVE TO KNOW IS
How to stop Premature Ejaculation or how to stay erect, stay hard or last longer (in bed).
You now know why even NORMAL MEN have misconception (strongly imprinted) that they have PREMATURE EJACULATION.
What is the normal time from the insertion in vagina to ejacultion?
This
has been dealt in detail earlier. [CLICK HERE]
60 seconds to 180 seconds meaning
1 minute to 3 minutes is the normal time from the insertion of penis in vagina to the time of discharge.
NORMAL TIME
60 seconds to 180 seconds meaning
1 minute to 3 minutes is the normal time
from the insertion of penis in vagina to the time of discharge.
Summarizing
3 COMMON MISTAKES MEN MAKE
THAT MAKE THEM (WRONGLY) BELIEVE THEY HAVE PREMATURE EJACULATION
Why NORMAL MALE assumes that he has Premature Ejaculation?
1. The fact of what time is normal is not known. All information is behind the bedroom door.
2. Misinformation is in pornography or with friends/peers.
Prolonged duration of erection like half an hour is seen in blue films (porn movies), which is not real. Just as the movie hero Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Harrison Ford, Will Smith, Bruce Willis, Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, John Travolta, Brad Pitt or the Indian superstars Amitabh Bachchan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan jumping from the height of tenth floor and knocking out single handedly ten armed men is unreal (though appears very real on the screen) so too the parameters of length, stiffness, duration related to penis and performance are all unreal in porn movies. Thanks to special effects. With no access to know 'what is real' and having watched 'unreal' blue films from an impressionable age, it is etched or imprinted in an impressionable mind that Premature Ejaculation is anything that is less than 15 or 30 minutes. He assumes that such a premature ejaculation is definitely not going to satisfy the female partner. This will make him appear inadequate, embarrassed and his manliness [Macho image] will be greatly hurt. He does not know that this measuring stick (example: prolonged duration of sexual intercourse) of being MACHO is NO MACHO for a woman. He is hardly aware that things other than male's pride about penis matters for a female and gives the sense of being MACHO for a woman.
3. The strong (mistaken) belief that he has premature ejaculation has its root in having had one or two experiences of sexual intercourse where high levels of excitement and novelty caused early discharge. Not knowing this the boy is crest fallen (often for life). If the female partner happens to remark casually that it was too quick than the blow can be almost irreparable. He stamps himself as a proven case of premature ejaculation.
AGE:
Premature Ejaculation presents commonly after 5 to 10 years of marriage.
Premature ejaculation [PE] is not so much of a teen problem, though age is no bar.
GENDER:
Is it a male problem or a problem for the female?
WHY?
A
Up to [approximately] 5 years of marriage or before 30 years of age usually a male does second successive sex that lasts longer than the first quickie.
Romance is richer and hence this aspect is of lesser or no importance soon after marriage.
B
As years pass after marriage the sexual urges have become largely satiated and novelty gone.
C
[About] 5 years after marriage, the mind is occupied more with handling responsibilities than with sex unlike in early youth when sex occupies a larger portion of the mind.
In my Sex Therapy sessions as a part of treatment I ask for answers to a set of questions.
SEVEN IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
1. Expectation
2. How many times he had premature ejaculation and how many times sex was normal?
Example: 7 out of 10 times he has premature ejaculation
3. What did the female partner actually say?
4. What did the doctor say? [If he has been to other doctors]
5. What medicines he has tried and how much have they benefited?
6. Presence of Diabetes/High Blood Pressure/Heart Disease/Depression or family history of any of these. COMORBID CONDTIONS.
7. What medicines he is taking? SIDE EFFECT OF DRUGS, DRUG INTERACTIONS
The answers to my questions could be
1.10 to 20 minutes delay is desired
2. For him the ejaculation just after insertion could be 2 to 3 strokes or thrusts in
2 out of 10 times and in 8 out of 10 times about a minute or two, sometimes more.
3. Female partner satisfaction:
"It is fine", says my wife when I ask her, but I suspect she does not tell the truth.
Similarly I seek answers to questions
4. 5. 6. 7.
OVERVIEW
FIRST The normal time is 60 seconds to 180 seconds and the time could be lesser or more in the same individual on different occasions.
SECOND I take this opportunity to do thorough clinical examination to rule out diabetes, hypertension, depression, alcohol/ tobacco addiction, other organic diseases.
TREATMENT IN BRIEF
To sum up: Nonmedical methods
A
1] Treatment is begun with Samadhan Sex Joy Therapy.
2] Advised to increase frequency
3] Do second successive sexual intercourse
4] Use Condom
5] Samadhan massage (modified Seman's) technique to delay ejaculation is taught.
6] Anything else that the person believes helps delaying ejaculation, such as exercise, drinking milk, taking a bath.
7] As a part of treatment permission for use of Sexually Stimulating Material is given.
8] Teaching wife/female partner methods for satisfying herself sexually, without totally relying on peno vaginal sex.
9] Masturbation by male prior to sexual intercourse
10] Teaching the male methods to make her come without peno vaginal intercourse.
11] Perineal muscle exercises can be beneficial for men with premature ejaculation.
B
Non genital method of female sexual satisfaction.
Psychodynamic Therapeutic Counseling to correct cognitive distortions about female sexual satisfaction.
Male perception of what satisfies woman and what in fact satisfies a woman, the secret keys, which bring arousal and enhance female satisfaction is explained to the male. In couple counseling having her version of what satisfies and irritates sexually is presented to him. Men are blind to this.
Look up 'P-Cock Syndrome' by the author Ashok Koparday.
In the 'Human Sexual Response' blog by the author Ashok Koparday, see the allegorical
depiction in animated image of what the peacock (male/men) thinks impresses the peahen (female/women)when in fact it does not.
IMPORTANT
Female sexual satisfaction has to be dealt in detail as part of treatment of premature ejaculation
WHAT TREATMENT IS NOT RECOMMENDED?
Non medical:
The phrase "DON'T WORRY" is never used by me.
Medical:
What I do not prescribe as treatment for Premature Ejaculation?
(a) Sildenafil PGE-5 inhibitors, like Viagra©,
(b) Gels, sprays, condoms containing anesthetics,
(c) Testosterone or anabolic steroids
MEDICAL METHODS OF TREATMENT OF PREMATURE EJACULATION
Modern Medicine or Allopathy
Choosing appropriate SSRIs, or TCA medicines.
Homeopathy:
Medicines to be taken Acid Phos Q 10 drops in a cup of water TWO times a day, after meals Damiana Q 10 drop in 5ml water one dose four times a day Silicea 3X 4tablets every two hours (Buy a phial of each medicine of the company
(The above homeopathic treatment may not be applicable to everybody. A detailed case history by Homeopath is required if you choose to take Homeopathy. Same holds true for Ayurved)
THE ROLE OF FEMALE PARTNER IN MANAGEMENT OF PREMATURE EJACULATION
If the female takes the responsibility of getting her enjoyment than she would be active in sexual play and not rely totally on the man to give her joy. She has to know what gives her orgasm or satisfaction. She should be familiar with her own Masturbation.
THE ROLE OF FEMALE PARTNER IN PREVENTING PREMATURE EJACULATION
It is strongly and severely advised for preventive and curative purpose that girl/female/woman should not say anything or indicate even in jest that may make him feel inadequate. Such a remark is a sure way to hurt your man. These apparently trivial words are severe, almost akin to killing the man.
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